Anxiety in a World of Expectations
- Izabella Rehák
- Jan 17
- 4 min read
Today’s culture of constant performance and comparison overloads our nervous systems, creating stress, anxiety, and overthinking. When we bring the body back into balance, the mind follows—shifting our attention from expectations to our real needs.
High-performance, high-achieving work culture - anxiety from expectations
Modern day professionals struggles with a lot of expectations. I know from my own experience as an HR professional, that workplaces expect high-performing individuals. If we are running our own businesses, the expectation to expand, exceed, go beyond and grow is even more apparent. WHO suggests that 15% of working-age adults were estimated to having a mental disorder in 2019 such as depression and anxiety. Poor working condition such as excessive workloads may be a contributing factor to mental health problems.
Impact of Social Media
Through Social Media we are constantly confronted about tips how to live better, be more happy, buy the next great healthy thing and in general an ‘idealized’ life. Studies show that these platform may have a negative effect on our self-evaluation and can be linked to lower self-esteem, negative body image and greater depressive symptoms.
Juggling many roles - expectations
In this modern world, we face expectations to have a diverse life, friends, hobbies, travels, activities, sports, take good care of our looks and be engaged parents, partners, friends and family members. Eurostat’s Harmonised European Time Use Surveys show how people’s time is split across paid work, household and family care, leisure and personal care — and multiple role demands create frequent tradeoffs. These are forced choices we constantly make because time, energy, and attention are limited leading to mental health concerns.
No wonder we are anxious
All these expectations build up. After a stressful day at work, you arrive home only to find your kid restless, so your attention immediately goes to trying to cheer them up. Then there’s dinner, but not much time left for cooking a healthy meal, so it is fish sticks again. Before going to bed you want to carve out some time for yourself, but all you have energy left is to scroll through Social Media, leaving you frustrated about a distant friend posting again of their trip in Bali. You are tense, annoyed, and start overthinking leading to even more discomfort.
The science of balanced body
When in this overstimulated, overly stressful environment, our sympathetic nervous system activates, which is linked to increased anxiety, hyper vigilance, overthinking, irritability, sleep disturbances, and reduced cognitive functions. The body is essentially busy with preparing to a fight or flight response on a constant basis.
On the other hand, when the parasympathetic nervous system is active, the heart rate reduces, the blood pressure lowers, cortisol level decrease and we feel safe and calm. When in this state, we can think more clearly, make better decisions, perceive things more objectively and are in control of our emotions.
Reflection - active your parasympathetic nervous system
The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system cannot run simultaneously. Therefore let’s experiment with activating our parasympathetic nervous system - which on its own reduces activation of the sympathetic one leading to more peace, focus, positive emotions and better wellbeing.
Breathing exercise or meditation
Slowing down our breath activates the parasympathetic nervous system leading to reduced heart rate and a feeling of calm. If you don’t have much time, inhaling for 5 seconds, holding it for 5 and exhaling for 5 seconds - repeated 6-10 times will be enough to stop the anxiety loop. If you have more time, listen to calming music, a guided meditation, or do a body-scan. Consistency is key here, the more you practice the faster you will reach a sense of calm, but what’s even better is that if you make meditation a daily practice, you are preventing excessive anxiety and overthinking.
Physical activity
Sport, workout or any kind of physical exercise is great for calming you down. Of course, while you are running the treadmill, your heart pounds, you’re sweating and barely catching breath. But once finished, the sympathetic nervous system is replaced by the parasympathetic and you will feel more calm and collected. You can also pick gentle activities like yoga, pilates, walking or stretching which will have a calming effect. My pro advise is: do whatever you enjoy. If workout feels like a torture, you will not reap its benefits.
Healthy, mindful eating
Cooking, eating slowly, focusing on the chewing and taste and helps to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Digestion also happens when the PNS is active. Healthy doesn’t necessarily mean time consuming. Balanced nutrition however is essential for our mental and physical wellbeing so the more colors, more textures, more variety you can add to your meals, the better. Avoiding sugar, unhealthy fat and fast and/or ultra-processed food is a good starting point as well. I personally like meal planners, services when you pick your meals and they deliver all ingredients.
Wind down before bed
Having a little before-bedtime routine is not only helpful for your children, it is helpful for adults as well. No blue light, no scrolling, taking some time to reflect on the day behind us, gratitude journaling, or doing your meditation routine may be just what you need to fall asleep quickly and have a restful sleep.
What do I really want/need?
As you return more to your body, start to feel more balanced and less stressed, it is a good moment to think about what you really want and need versus what you feel like you have to do or what others expect of you. The more you move towards focusing on your own needs, managing your time and priorities accordingly, will help you manage stress on a different level. Consciously choosing what is right for us is not easy and not always possible, but the more we can practice it, the more balanced and fulfilled we will feel.
Conclusions
We explored how our competing roles and expectations lead to anxiety and overstimulated nervous system. By managing stress in our body, our mind and emotional calm grows and we create space for making the right decisions for ourselves leading to a more sustainable way to manage stress, anxiety and overthinking.
References
McComb, C. A., Vanman, E. J., & Tobin, S. J. (2023). A meta-analysis of the effects of social media exposure to upward comparison targets on self-evaluations and emotions. Media Psychology, 26(5), 612-635. https://doi.org/10.1080/15213269.2023.2180647
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